I haven't posted in a little while. Mostly due to uncertainty. Things had been in an odd state over the past month in my home, which I shared with my girlfriend and her five year old daughter.
That's now over. Despite my best efforts, my now ex-girlfriend and I became more distant. We broke up last Saturday. Without getting into details and finger pointing, the best I can say is that our relationship ran it's course. She and the kiddo will be moving back in with her parents, all in the midst of mediation and possible court issues with her ex husband on who will have little Alice during the school year, essentially the decision for primary custody. I wish her and her family the best, as I still believe Alice is better off with her mother.
So now a chapter in my life is ending, with a new one beginning. Really, I'm in a transitional stage. On Saturday when we broke up, she left to go back to her parents, and I went north to my part time job for a couple days. It was good to not be in the house. During this time I spent little time reflecting on the past, and a lot of time thinking about what's ahead. It made things easier.
Last night, when I returned home, it kinda hit me: I'm now in this house by myself. When I bought the place, I bought it in mind with making a good home for Marjie and Alice. Very little has been changed in the house so far, due to both of us being busy. Tomorrow I have off, and I'll be faced again with all the stuff in the house that isn't mine, that will need to be packed up. Some stuff will get moved around.
There are things I'm going to miss about the pseudo family life I had. The holidays are more fun with little kids, and summers have their own kinda fun: camping trips, theme parks. Then there are the days that were mostly Alice and I together. We had some fun times. The step-dad role had it's challenges and rewards. I'm really going to miss my time with her. The best part was reading her classic Winnie the Pooh stories as she'd fall asleep in my arms.
...I'm really going to miss that.
Moving on...
Concerning my previous posts about martial arts stuff. Never really set on a day for the old black belts from the former School of the Silent Warrior to meet up (that's mostly on me). I think I'm going to let that go now. If my old instructor wants to teach again, I'll be the first one in line. But it's up in the air if he will teach again, and I don't want to get my hopes up.
The new freedom with my schedule gives me the opportunity to try different martial arts programs each about an hour's drive away. In Lancaster, there's a long running, family run traditional Shotokan Karate school. And now in North Conway, there's an Aikido program being offered. Next week I'm going to observe one of the Aikido classes. Looking forward to it. It think it will be kinda cool to start over in a new art.
There are projects on the house to do now, with no one to consult on decor but me. Going to take out the tiles in the kitchen floor and replace with a nice laminate. Going to either paint the trim or hire somebody else to do it. There's also the issue of whether I'm going to put the pellet stove upstairs in the living room, or keep it in the basement and insulate the walls of the basement. I'm kinda torn on which one would be better, so I'm giving myself until August to make a decision on the matter.
I'm doing pretty well overall on seeing the positive side to my new semi-reluctant freedom. I'm still young, got a nice house, a full time job and part time job that I both love. I've got 10-13 weeks of paid vacation to use, with three of those weeks being used starting next week.
Adventures will be planned, some on the motorcycle (weather permitting). I'm going to make up for not seeing any concerts last year by going to one every month this summer. Already got the first one lined up next month. Others are in planning, and waiting on a few more dates to be added by particular artists I'd like to see.
Some of these adventures will be to visit friends I have not seen in a long time. Looking forward to those. Some of the concerts will be planned around these trips. Some trips will be on a whim, wherever my trusty motorcycle will take me.
Then there's NH motorcycle week. I'm going to spend at least a couple days down in the Laconia area, staying over one or two nights. Then I'm going to enjoy the rest of the week up north, with the annual Ride to the Sky up Mount Washington. Gonna end that week in Vermont, however, in Burlington (hopefully with a couple friends) to see another band in concert.
So in conclusion to this post, I'm now in an odd but good place. Yes, I'm going to mourn what I've lost, particularly after all I put into the past three years. But I know in the long run that this is what's best for me. The rest of this year I'm dedicating to me, with the things I want to do. This is prime time for me. I'm doing the job that I love, I've got a cool house. I'm still young and ruggedly handsome.
I have true friends and family that are all excellent.
And I have a motorcycle...
